Unplanning
Jeremiah 29:11-13
What happens when we reach a point at which we need to take a giant step back and “unplan” our lives, rethinking what God is trying to teach us in the midst of our circumstances? Are we ready and willing to fully and intentionally surrender everything to Him? I had reached multiple points in my life (namely burnout working as a Covid ICU nurse surrounded by death, frustration, and cruelty – followed by my own cancer diagnosis) during which God showed me there was nowhere to go but on my knees with a heart seeking Him out of sheer humiliation in feeling the overwhelming anger of navigating the “new normal.” This was on both a career level and personal level. It was as if (looking back now) He had to allow me to break down in order to tap me on the shoulder, embrace me, and say now…let ME fill you and show you something great! He truly worked to lead me to a place of peace that passes all understanding, and to an understanding of the meaning of a Christian’s obligation to be filled with joy and hope which is in Christ alone.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.'" ~ Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV
Surrender
God wants us to understand that we don’t need to have control. In fact, we never were in control. So I had to ask myself, why do I think that I’m in control? Why is it so easy for me to become distraught over feeling a “loss of control?” Maybe because what I personalize as a “loss” I may actually need to reconsider as an opportunity for conscious and intentional surrender. God’s plans are perfect for each and every one of us, regardless of whether we understand them or not – whether we experience feelings of happiness or pain. Although sometimes easier said than accepted, God understands our needs better than we understand our own. The places God guides us to, and the circumstances He allows, is for His greater purpose and ultimately furthers the sanctification process in us. I believe God can lead us to places and situations in which we have nothing left to do but surrender and trust in Him.
Rest
Rest comes in many forms – physical, mental, and spiritual. Psalm 23 describes the Lord as our Good Shepherd providing for the physical needs of His sheep which, therefore, leads to restoration of the soul. God’s provision may not always look like the easy road, financial wealth, or perfect health. Maybe God’s way of providing for us is different than what we define as “good.” What about the power of His presence? God may allow the hardships because He knows that journey is good for us and it fulfills His greater purpose; but, in that, He promises to never deny us His presence. He will never leave us or forsake us. He is with us in every moment and every circumstance. God wants us to draw close to Him with an understanding that He understands. He perfectly understands the temptations, the mental struggle, the feeling of physical pain, and the spiritual warfare that we march into battle against daily.
Modern culture has so many ideas about emotional health and self-care. The idea of addressing mental health is not at all bad; but, there is so much to consider, and dissecting all of the good and bad, pros and cons, would take way too much time. Counseling and therapy are the first things that come to mind and I have found both to be very beneficial if approached carefully. Prayerful consideration in searching for godly help and wisdom does not give you a negative “label” – maybe to a judgmental world, but not to God. (I had to learn that personally and accept that in my own heart and mind.) God knows that in our sinful nature, we will struggle. I am not afraid to admit that I had been in counseling for over a year, and God blessed me so deeply in taking that step to find a Christian counselor to talk through navigating anger, fear, and disappointment from a Biblical perspective. In correlation with counseling, God worked in my life to instill an overwhelming desire to dig deeper into His Word, lead me to a new group of of believing sisters in Christ to study the book of Matthew in Bible Study Fellowship, and provide me with an understanding that there is a distinct difference between “happiness” and true joy in the hope of a life committed to Christ.
And understanding that duty to “joy” can both excite us and renew us – renewal in a sense of spiritual rest. Whether that is time spent in worship, prayer, Scripture reading, communion and fellowship of believers – God will provide all that your soul needs if you open your heart and mind genuinely to Him.
Fulfillment
What does fulfillment look like? Sound like? Feel like? It is hard to say because true fulfillment is something only God can provide for you. (And I am not going to pretend to be an expert on teaching about “fulfillment.”) I believe it certainly can be individualized for each believer depending on where God has that person in his or her journey. My journey isn’t the same as yours. My fulfillment one day may be sensing God’s presence that provides peace and comfort amidst certain circumstances – another day it might be joy in sharing Christ with a stranger. Maybe one Sunday it shows up as tears – an outward sign of how full my heart is in embracing the love and passion of worship – whether signing, singing, or dancing. Maybe it’s the feeling of intimacy in developing a relationship with God.
"I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long, and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." ~ Ephesians 3:16-19, NIV
This gets really honest now. Another area of “unplanning” my life was in the desire for marriage. My mom has always said “Don’t marry someone you can live with; marry someone you can’t live without.” That saying can interpreted different ways. God has recently worked in my heart to teach me patience and what true goals for marriage should be. So, God showed me very clearly where I needed to course-correct. The new prayer laid on my heart was for God to draw me so close to Him; and, likewise, my (hopefully) future husband so close to Him, that we would someday desire each other because we both point the other to God first – someone I eventually “can’t live without.” I know that sounds all strangely perfect and magical when earthly marriage comes with a set of challenges and imperfections all its own, but God is slowly changing me into the woman He wants me to be. This may even be current training to prepare me to be the wife He wants me to be in His perfect timing. Don’t get me wrong, there are still days I struggle and ask God to take away the temptation of jealousy – but then He brings me back to find the ultimate peace and love in knowing He always held and holds my heart – first and forever. So part of my current understanding of fulfillment is in trusting God fully with that area of my life.
So whatever it is – whatever area you need His fulfillment – God can provide you with an understanding of what His perfect fulfillment truly means. And when He reveals it to you, it is beautifully overwhelming!
