“Fear Your Name” – the Story Behind the Song

I never had it in mind to write a song, but without a better explanation, I imagine it was God’s intention all along. A song was not the goal – but a devotional journal filled with thoughts on what it means to live “undivided,” with a heart desiring only God, soon became poetry and eventually lyrics. I still can’t explain how this was written and arranged in five days, with the music itself being written in a mere six hours sitting at the piano with my sister one Sunday afternoon. The fact that it flowed easily – when I’ve struggled with poetic structuring of meter and rhyme my entire life, yet love to write – can only be from God.

For many years, I have prayed for God to bring the right man into my life at exactly the right time. In 2020, the emphasis of that prayer changed to seeking God as the ultimate fulfillment in my life based on Ephesians 3:16-19: “I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (NIV). After more than one relationship that hasn’t worked, I realized I was searching for identity elsewhere and not recognizing the importance of fully protecting my heart and valuing my identity in Christ.

In 2021, I received a gold ring in the shape of a heart with a diamond cross set in the very center – to me, a visual reminder that my heart should be centered on Christ and belongs to Him first, and for forever. I began praying for God to protect and strengthen the heart of my future husband in addition to mine. God gave me an astounding new desire for Him and His Word through various personal experiences both in my career and my cancer journey between 2021-2022. Over the course of the last year, God has redirected my focus to be on Him resulting in faith versus my circumstances that would otherwise result in fear and discontentment. He has been purposefully revealing areas of weakness in my life. He has been truly deepening my faith and trust in Him, while transforming my heart and priorities to be reflective of Him and His work in my life.

On a Saturday morning, May 28, 2022, I awoke to a text message from a BSF leader and friend. That text was more needed that weekend than that person will ever know, and is what set the background for the following week of Scripture study and the writing of the song “Fear Your Name.” The text message read: “It occurred to me that if you were married you would not have the same kind of time to devote to the King, and your time would need to be divided. Not that He may not have that for you in the future, but for now He’s given you the gift of ‘singleness.’“(I had never thought of “singleness” as being such a gift and a privilege, and discovered later that day that her words were likely referencing I Corinthians 7:34-35). The following text message went on to read: “What a privilege it is to be His daughter! Not only did He want you to know that He sees you, but to use me as well. I love His plans for us.” Credit belongs to God in all of this, but I am always amazed how He can speak through another believer to provide the exact guidance and encouragement one may need. (As you will read and hear, the content of the text message is reflected in the theme of the song. Some of the words and phrasing were also captured and written into the song itself).

I spent the entire next week researching Scripture and studying this concept of undivided devotion. It brought to mind the idea of complete surrender: “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart…” (Proverbs 3:5-6), “Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart…” (Matthew 22:37). I noticed the Bible doesn’t instruct me to trust or love with SOME of my heart – God wants me to obey with ALL of my heart. My Bible showed a cross-reference for I Corinthians 7:34-35. It was Psalm 86:11: “Teach me Your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name” (NIV). This verse made me immediately think of the Scripture passage that I claimed for my cancer journey starting back in June of 2021: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with ALL your heart'” (Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV). At this point, journaled thoughts quickly turned into lyrics that took on a sort of poetic structure. The chorus of the song is based on both Jeremiah 29:11-13 and Psalm 86:11. When my sister listened to what I had written, she became extremely excited and took it upon herself to help me put the words to music at our parents’ piano less than 48 hours after I introduced them to her (June 5, 2022).

My desire for the song was for it be real but not depressing; personal, but not in such a way that the song only has meaning and significance to me. I wanted the song to show that Christ is glorified in weakness, and wanted it to be a true testament of my heart commitment to Him in all areas of my life regardless of the circumstances. Recently, in October of 2022, two of my grandparents entering heaven gave the bridge of this song an entirely different meaning – not only what I look forward to with the hope of eternal life, but also hope and joy in imagining what meeting our Savior and experiencing eternity in heaven must be for them. I listen to this song often as a reminder of where my heart focus should be and in Whom I should place my trust.

My brother (a self-taught musician) stated that often song-writers and musicians will work on a musical piece for an indefinite amount of time, making changes along the way as they begin to hear words, phrases, or parts of the arrangement that sound better re-written. I truly believe this song can’t and shouldn’t be re-written because it would lose the meaning I think God originally intended for it to have. And He knew that I would receive the text I did, which encouraged me to get into the Word. I prayed over the meaning and intention behind the song, as well as humility in sharing this with others in the future. I hope this song is encouraging and that the words are ones you can identify with for whatever part of your “journey” you are physically, emotionally, or spiritually walking through. I hope and pray you are fully committed to overcoming life’s challenges by leaning into God’s strength, and are dedicated to His call for you knowing God is by your side and in your heart. And, I hope, in your personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you learn for yourself what it means to live undivided and to fear His name.

Verse 1:
My thoughts were divided.
Distractions had me wandering.
I'm no longer undecided -
No longer caught up in the questioning.

Intro:
The world may challenge me.
Some days may seem hard to survive;
But when I pray to You, 
I know You will provide.

Chorus:
I've learned to treasure each moment,
Because You're writing my story. 
You know Your plans for me -
Guiding each step of my journey.
(Jeremiah 29:11-13)

I want to walk in truth,
So teach me in Your way. 
Give me an undivided heart
That I may fear Your name
... fear Your name.
(Psalm 86:11-13)

Verse 2:
You're giving me hope now.
By You I'm always seen and known.
I surrender my life to You, now -
Give You my heart to fully own. 

Intro:
The world may challenge me. 
Some days may seem hard to survive;
But when I pray to You, 
I know You will provide.

Chorus:
I've learned to treasure each moment, 
Because You're writing my story.
You know Your plans for me -
Guiding each step of my journey.

I want to walk in truth,
So teach me in Your way. 
Give me an undivided heart
That I may fear Your name
... fear Your name.

Bridge (x 2):
You saved me by Your grace.
I can't wait to see Your face -
Feel Your heavenly embrace.
Lord, I give You all the praise.

Chorus:
I've learned to treasure each moment,
Because You're writing my story.
You know Your plans for me -
Guiding each step of my journey.

I want to walk in truth,
So teach me in Your way. 
Give me an undivided heart
That I may fear Your name
... fear Your name 
... that I may fear Your name.

Text Message: May 28, 2022 Written: June 3, 2022 First Recorded: June 5, 2022 First Full Original Piano Recording: June 9, 2022 First Full Raw Recording: October 21, 2022

Performed by: Tiffany V.

Lyrics: Nicole V.

Music written by: Tiffany V. and Nicole V.

Final arrangement to be recorded, edited, and produced by: Bradley V.